So I took the first scisor I saw and hurt myself. But I stopped before I really did it, because I realized that, unlike most people I know about, physical pain wouldnt stop the ache in my mind. 
  And I dropped the scisor feeling worse than I would feel if I had really done something. There is no hope, after all. No scape from the pain. I felt more sick than ever. I turned the lights off and I lay on the floor, not noticing that, for the first time, I wasn't being able to let the music fill my mind and make me forget about everything...